It rarely hits you, but when it does, it leaves you
staring for help. A help that you know will never come. A help that you wish
you had realized that you would need long ago.
A help, the longing for which, will ultimately
leave you helpless.
When you wake up in the morning and have to decide
on what to wear, and remember that time, when it was the same thing everyday.
The uniform that you wore for the best part of your past is what you wish to
wear. But it’s nowhere around. Its the same thing again....
When you’re sitting in college and looking at the
other people in class and you realize: “Oh f***, its all gonna be over.”
When the professor yaps on in front of you and there’s someone snoring away to
glory behind you; that’s when you realize. When you stare at all the people who
surround you in college and your thoughts go back to a time not so long ago,
when your small group seemed like the world and everything good in it. That: is
when you realize.
When the phone ceases to ring, when songs start to
make more sense, when things from the present remind you of the past; little things,
like pointless chatter, or passing notes in class, or the spaces between hours,
or for that matter anything that that reminds you of ‘before’, that’s when you
realize that its over.
Life went by too fast. So fast that before you
could come to terms with the fact that it was moving fast, it was over. You
somehow wish that, someone had been there to tell you that one day, it’ll all
be over. And when you come to think of it, there was always someone to tell
you! You just never listened.
Its not that I hate what is going to happen, but
it’s the fact that somehow I knew that this was going to happen, and yet, I
didn’t see it coming.
When you know that the good times are going to end
someday, you are expected to take the liberty of enjoying it as much as you
can; every bit of it. But somehow, we take the decision not to, or we try and
we fail. But we realize that we have failed, only when the bad times come
around; which makes it inevitable.
Somehow, you manage to see a memory, in everything,
out of nothing at all. When you smile at the thought of a memory that was
provoked because of something you saw, or something that someone said. That’s
when it hits you again: it’s gonna be over.
It’s true, life has to go on, and sooner or later
all this will be memories. But, somewhere down the line, you will wish that if
only it could keep going on like this. But all those are dreams not likely to
be fullfilled.
Today I feel sad. I feel sad because I remember how
it felt to be happy. Now, as I sit and think, I realize that all that’s good
has come and gone, and might never come again. But I will not be bogged down by
this. I will move on in life. I may fail, I may succeed. But when I look
back, a long time from now, I won’t be sad that it’s over. There’s no point in
doing that. I’ll just smile and be happy that it ever happened!
And I know that when I go round a corner someday,
I’ll walk into a memory. And someday for sure the only thing I’ll have left
will be memories, and for those memories, I will be grateful.
